Blog-tini

Back in my formative years I learned quickly that the term 'martini' referred to a specific combination: some kind of gin, a splash of vermouth and either a twist of lemon (the original version and my personal preference) or an olive. I was kinda 'meh' on the who idea of a vodka martini, and to this day I'm still willing to be tolerant on that issue.

But what the fuck has happened to my beloved martini over the last decade? These days you can take any fern-bar fruity drink, serve it up in the eponymous glass and call it a martini. Chocolate martini, blue martini, flirtini, appletini and (just lately) even a saketini. The other week I swear to (insert divine entity here) some woman at a bar ordered the Midoritini. I watched the bartender mix a classic Midori melonball cocktail, pour it into a chilled martini glass, hand it to the woman and charge her $10 for the priveledge. I mean, WTF?

In protest, I have decided from now on in this blog that every alcoholic beverage shall be given a name that ends in that annoying "-tini" suffix. I'll start with my three favorite drinks. Wine is now "grapetini", beer is now "maltini" and sake will now be "ricetini". (Well I can't call it saketini because there's already a sake-based mixed drink with that name).

Additional "-tini"-based nomenclature shall be developed on an "as needed" basis.